"DON'T CRY FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR TEARS BECAUSE THE PERSON WHO DESERVES YOU WONT LET YOU CRY A SINGLE TEAR."

Sunday, March 27, 2011

last day of exams

anneyonggg!
yes i haven't blog for like quite a while
i was expecting myself to be blogging during the so called holidays but lately, im really lazy.
im just here to drop by a few words
well, literally..haha

so what have i been doing this holiday?
same old same old i guess
having lunch with friends, going out with my baby <3, out jogging around my neighbourhood and just went to Miri
but,
this holiday, im done something "different" for the day.
that is..
going to BSRC and play badminton with my buds
honestly, im not quite a sporty girl
but i had no idea why this year..i found myself developing to it..?
i jog more than used too and finding myself wanting to play badminton
since i haven't played badminton for like the part 7years so my whole body was practically aching after that day
i cant wait for the school's badminton match somehow..HEHE

today is the officially last day of exams
tomorrow, lesssons will soon starts, papers are given and more homeworks are gonna be throwing up to us!
ohmy papers, I DONT EVEN WANNA LOOK AT IT.
i bound to fail my Physics, Chemist and POA.
can you believe it? POA.
bullshit.
well all the best tmrw.
BYE.

Friday, March 4, 2011

frustrated.

i am certainly back on blogging all right
even if the exams are near
well, just wanna let out a few feelings.
even no one is willing to understand my feelings, but that doesnt mean i cant blogged about it right?
im human too okay

these days, let's just say i feel "quiet"
like, empty, silent..so far away from comfort.
i wont say why cause thats just..too obvious? i dont know.
i wanna feel cherished, easy, meaningful, sincerity, honesty, appreciated, important, special... and happy.
i'll be lying if i said i was truly happy right now
i feel..like im being pushed away
isnt it funny how when you're fully devoted to someone but yet you dont get treated the same way?
i once feel like im special, precious to somebody..
but now, everything seems so..blank?
no more fairytales
well maybe at first, i thought things were all like a dream
all too perfect, too wonderful that it all seems like a fake drama now
maybe its just me
maybe im being too sensitive
(that might be it? given that i having period right now. lol.)
but..come to think of it, it DOES seems like that

way back before
we're so sweet, so happy, so fully devoted
and i'll do anything to get that back
im not saying like..we're in hell wars now. no.
its just..i dont know
im confused now
i guess im just scared..

im scared that i have no one to hold onto me when im crying
im scared that i was no longer important to somebody
im scared that i mistake without even trying too
im scared that i am being fooled once again
im just scared..for not being able to feel love again

love is beautiful you know people
but..its just painful that you cant truly feel it's meaning
love has alot of meaning..simple word but tons of meaning
its the most wonderful things in the world
to me, love always means happiness to me
if you're happy, then you're loved..
like happy in a relationship
am i truly happy in a relationship?
yes.
i really am.
im being painfully honest
i dont lie.
but i just dont why unsincerity and insecurity must tag along
i just want to be happy...honest and true..

readers,
there's this person i really love.
honestly, i never felt this way before.
i feel love.. so beautiful that it brings me tears
im trying to forget all pains and just let things be with full sincerity and truth
cause, i just want that person in my life
no, i NEED that person in my life..

maybe i just miss him so much? too much?
maybe..i just miss us..
maybe, i just miss the moments in 2010
i know i shouldn't hold back memories and i know life goes on, but how can you just forget something that means so much to you right?
unless it means nothing to you, then yea, forget it.

well i probably shouldn't be thinking tha tmuch and feeling paranoid
my exams are coming, thats more important
and the fact that im so paranoid now is also because i witnessed an accident over at the highway this morning
it was my first experienced
the whole part, the crash, the broken vehicle
i saw, i heard, i SAW
and that scene where they crash, its still booming in my head
its scary
i pray that the people are alright

okay, bye.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

apologize

sorry that i have abandon my blog for a month now i guess
i have been busy (well not really) and shitloads of homeworks are gagging up to me
not to mention of course, im lazy.
its already the february of 2011
its gonna be hell of march soon
times are so fast arent they?
i miss 2010 alot, like seriously ALOT. all the moments and times..alot!
can you count how many stars are there in the universe? thats how much i miss it
and yes, i stole the quote from facebook, ha ha.
2011 was so far bittersweet i guess
and im not gonna bitched about the bitter ends here on my blog

within these past weeks
alot happen
ok, i used the word 'alot' a lot of time already...oops. haha
anyway, yes..things changed.
my friend, she has changed.
i wont say who and i wont mention it..my friends, go figure. its obvious.
they say people change when their surrounding change
they say people leave not because they stop caring, but because others stop caring
i dont know, this world has a lot of craps store in for us teenagers
hey life, have a break, have a KitKat okay?
no watch television issit? pffffft.
but we just gotta appreciate what good has given to us before it fades away

so, what has been going on with my life
well, same bullshit different days
same sweetness different days
does it makes sense?
exams are coming up..on the 8th i think..and luckily, i have start studying
i should put all unimportant stuffs aside first and focus on what's important now
like..physics
i hate physics now -.- i love chemistry now!
haha
amaths, still love it ;)
and i seriously need to improve my freakin' Malay
but what i like most about the 1st and 2nd terms are the sports events
seriously, cant wait.

ok what more to say, im in the mood for blogging.
oh yea, weirdly..unusually, i had no idea why i keep seeing and dreaming about the word "scandal" these days
i've seen that word alot on twitter, i even dreamt that my mum has a scandal!
freaky much?
its like its telling me something -.-
seriously, even few of my friends have scandals and scandals break up!
gosh, i need to get out of these situation
but straightly speaking, i dont get and know why people must cause scandal
if you're not happy with that person, just let them go instead of keeping them with lies and broken promises behind their backs
why have to go for scandals and affairs?
people seriously need to start to act like people more, as in, HUMAN BEINGS.
im sick and tired of seeing my friends crying over scandals..sorry M.
even Yvonne said her cousin's boyfriend has a scandal
WHAT THE HELL.

okay, i have to go..somewhere else now
i didnt actually write what exactly the blog title is except for the first paragraph so yea, its my blog. i write whatever shits i want and you can go click the 'x' red button if you dont feel like reading it
bye.




"when all you need is someone to wipe your tears away, hold onto you and tell you that everything's gonna be okay instead of telling you not to cry anymore."

Sunday, January 9, 2011

When you look me in the eyes

anneyonggg!
its been like a while i blog isnt it?
well this MIGHT be my last time of blogging..so yea :)
i have my own reasons
anyways,
im gonna talk random stuffs now
first of all..yes, school
on the first day of school..it was pretty awesome!
although my two babes, Zul and Qilah, has moved..but its great that we're still in touch
i miss you two
and we have two new girls in our class
Farhanah and Mai
they're cool and we're getting to know them better
we like being friendly with new students..haha
the first week of school has already gone by
so far, i have quite some homeworks..
but i manage to finish some at school
all i left is one question from Dmaths, 2 questions from Amaths and my Malay ringkasan
i hate doing ringkasan :s
hahaha, well..im gonna be more attentive in class from now on :)
it makes me happy when i get good marks in school..hehe
oh yea, i have a bio revision test tomorrow and physics as well on thursday :s
but its just a small test, i can ace it :)

what about outside school?
well..on friday i went somewhere with baby :)
finally get to spend some time with you, i miss you baby
things are different when you're not around but i'm still trying to get used to it :)
and..
yesterday, i went to LipYi's crib!
or should i say..palace
HAHA,
sorry i upload this picture if you dont mind..hehe i really love this part of your house..so pretty, HEHE

so yea,
LipYi's going to Australia..we will surely miss all your jokes and stories that you always share with us
dont ever forget us ya..be sure to blog everytime so we still know what's in that mind of yours ;)
HEHE take care!
we're at LipYi's crib for like..6hours i guess? haha from 2pm to 8pm..its really fun
we're kinda like awkward and speechless and bored at first but then..BOOM!
jokes, laughters, hide and seek, food, cards, more hide and seek, chit chatting, heart to heart talk..its really quite fun :)
i cant wait to crash over at some of you guys place again and do all these stuffs again..HEHE

so..what more?
9 more days to me and sayangg's 200th day anniversary! yes i count :p
hahaha
i hope i get to see you that day..its on tuesday
oh!
and CHINESE NEW YEAR IS GONNA BE HERE SOON!!!
angpao angpao~ HAHA
so i wish my Chinese friends, Gong Xi Fa Chai in advance..hahaha
and Valentines too
this is like gonna be my first Valentine..HAHA

im kinda like happy now for some reasons..haha
but im defitnately not looking forward for tomorrow :(
phyics, chemistry, bio and dmaths all at one day! -.-
trying to kill us? hahahaha endureeeee~
and going up and down the stairs are tiring!!
even the teaches said so..geeeeezzzzz
oh wells, our new building is pretty awesome buuuut i prefer the old building :)
there's memories there..
i walk around the old building sometimes thinking of flashbacks..hehe
so.. i got nothing more to say
its only basically the first week..haha

lastly,
i dont know why suddenly nowadays i really love hearing Jonas Brothers's When You Look Me In The Eyes
that song reminds me of baby :) hehe
so yea, here's a video of it ;)





a picture of me! :) as an extra, wth..haha

Friday, December 31, 2010

goodbye 2010

yes, today is 31 december 2010
the last day of 2010
first of all,
i wanted to say a big thank you to all the people who love me
you people made my year more fun and cheerful each day
my friends and my love

i met a lot of new friends this year
but my old friends are still the best
my friends are all awesome
thank you guys for always being there when i needed you
for always supporting me and telling me to be strong
to lend me a shoulder to cry on when i needed one
by just being you guys, you are all damn awesome
you made me laugh till i cry, and when i cry, you made me laugh
no other better words could describe how lucky i am to have friends like you guys
you guys are the best and i miss you all alot!
i cant wait till school re-opens so that i could see and hang out with you all again!
gonna give you all big big hugs!
love you guys till death!

but 2010..someone in my life made it more special
because i met someone special and amazing after my 14 years
i wanted to thank you baby for coming into my life and love me for who i am
meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling for you, im happy about that
2 more days to our 6monthsary, i really hope i get to see you that day
as you no longer go to the same school with me
i will surely misses the moments we had in school
the times when i send you to your class early in the morning,
the times when you look at me by the window during class,
the times when i hang with you during recess and most of all..
the times when we walk back together after school and how you tell me you love me everyday
im gonna miss it all
it'll be different without your presence around but yea, life goes on
just wanted you to know baby,
eventhough we cant see each other everyday like we used too..but i hope you'll keep me in mind everytime
thats just what i want
remember our sweet memories we had in school cause those are the times that made us love each other more and more
baby you're wonderful,
you're my first and my last..i pray for that each and every day
always, i LOVE you forever

so 2011 is coming in like a few more hours
make sure to cherish and appreciate the last moments with the people you love
i hope that 2011 will be a much more better year for everyone
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

lonely Christmas

anneyonggggg~
it's been awhile since i blogged isn't it?
i'm out of ideas lately..
yes, Christmas is coming and i had no idea why i'm so exicited about it the past few days
i could feel the festive spirit coming and all
but i defitnately do not want to spend Christmas alone
i want to spend it with my special someone
although i guess this was just my wishful thinking because it is impossible for me to be out unless i have my friends as companies?
i don't know
Christmas was suppoe to be fun, full of joys and cheers
somehow, i can't experience it
on Christmas eve, i wanted to have dinner together with my boyfriend, have long walks together hands in hands, sit together in a warm room waiting and counting down to Christmas
i wanted to live like that
yes, i really do.
it all sound like a dream but doesn't fit into reality
thats why i always said, dreams are better than reality
i felt useless at times..no, MOST of the times.
all i ever wanted was to give someone i love what he wanted, and why is that so hard?
im weak perhaps?
i really wanted to spend Christmas with him, only him.
i never been so dissapoint like this ever in my life, i don't even sound like myself
what's the point of saying it when it'll never happen?
i dont know.
i can't tell how much i misses him after our last date which was like almost a month ago
can you even feel or know how much i misses you now?


dont promise me a lonely Christmas please.